- That’s it. I have had it with these dogs. Mala’s Hamilton mysteriously escapes from my backyard, and can unlock the doggie door, so I have to block it with a 30 lb bag of dog food. That means everyone has to be taken out front when they need to “go.” None of the five needs to go at the same time. Every time I try to relax or eat or work on something, someone wants out. So, I set everything aside and get up, and every single one takes that very moment to block my way in order to scratch, or nap, or tangle yarn, or wrestle with each other, and I wear my voice yelling “move”, while I trip on yarn or over a dog, or on a ball that Pippin just has to throw into my moving feet. Or I may even have an accident, because they won’t let me get to the bathroom. Once we are outside, Mala’s Brock immediately wants to go in, because he hates the rain, or he wants to eat or thinks it would be cool to knock over the trash or just because he wants to make me crazy. I can’t just let him in, because he wants me to come, too, and barks and barks at me. Merry is always mad about the closed off doggie door, because he likes to run outside and bark at stuff, and he can’t get out there. So he sits out in the middle of the grass, even in the pouring rain, and refuses to come inside until I go out and grab him. While I am trying to get Merry inside, stuff happens. My food is eaten, or my coffee knocked over, or my slipper peed on, or my dirty clothes pulled from the hamper. Theoden is always in the middle of my chair when I come back to it, and won’t get down unless it’s time for his medicine when he hides. Then as soon as a movie I want to see comes on, or I get to a tricky spot in a pattern, or I sit down with a nice cup of tea, it all starts again..Maybe they are all possessed or something. Monkey.