Look at the Ogre, Damn it!

You can’t just shove unpleasant things in a dusty drawer and forget about them. They are still there, getting uglier and stronger. Pain has to be faced head on. It just does. I learned this as I had to come to grips with the murders of my boys. I kept having a nightmare about a giant, ugly ogre that followed me everywhere. I couldn’t get away from this silent hulk, no matter what I did. Pain is like that. Grief is like that. I had to look at it and name it. I had to acknowledge it.

It’s the same with all big issues. If something is causing someone pain, it is important to look it in the eye, not hide from it and pretend it doesn’t exist. Cancer exists, child abuse exists, racism exists, cruelty exists, murder exists. It’s time to take these things out of the shadows and see them in all their ugliness.

#Blacklivesmatter is like that, too. They are taking something ugly and bringing it into the light. Look at it. Face it. This issue is causing pain and grief. It isn’t taking value away from any other lives, white, blue, or polka dotted. It isn’t trying to make one grief greater than another. Grief isn’t a contest, for the love of God! Look at the ogre, before it runs amok! Don’t pretend it isn’t there, just because it isn’t your personal pain. If someone else feels it, it’s real.  Monkey!


About griefsjourney

Neal's mom. Devon's and Ian's Oma.
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