Holidays: The Dark Days

Holidays can be very hard on those who are grieving. I call this time of year The Dark Days.  We are bombarded by images of perfect families with their perfect celebrations. I’ve been thinking about this quite a bit recently. Those of us who have lost someone to violence are now part of a totally different society – a sub-culture if you’re an anthropologist. We have crossed an emotional bridge. We look at others across a huge dark chasm. The things that we used to think of as important, like sales goals or workplace politics, sometimes seem silly to us. The people around us only seem to see the deep gulf, and not us. They want us to come back to the other side, the safe side, so they don’t have to be reminded of that terrible dark canyon and the unknown land on the other side. Not going to happen. It’s a one way bridge. They don’t understand that we live on this side now. We would willingly meet them on the bridge for a hug or cup of coffee. We would tell them about what life is like on the other side, and they would be able to see us much more clearly. They are afraid and only see the darkness. They fear that somehow we will grab them and pull them over with us if they come close. We are modern day lepers. How many times have you seen people you have known for years cross the street or reverse direction so that they don’t have to talk to you? I sometimes want to hold up a sign that says “murder isn’t contagious!” I guess you can’t really understand what it’s like for us unless you join us. I wouldn’t wish that on ANYBODY.  Monkey!

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One Response to Holidays: The Dark Days

  1. Brenda Shead says:

    On 11-19-11
    This Became MY REALITY!!
    And it will forever SICKEN ME!
    R.I.P My Only Son
    Matthew Joe Olivarez
    Forever 28💔

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