Neal’s birthday is May 19 – it would be his 34th. This will be his 7th birthday since his murder. I’m finding that I still miiss him desperately. People who tell you that time heals all wounds don’t know what they are talking about! Not this kind of wound! Not losing your child!
Neal and I were very close – as mothers and sons are usually close. My daughter, Mala, and I were just talking about the fact that Neal was Mama’s Boy from day one. The nurses in the hospital nursery were usable to get him to calm down and go to sleep, and had to bring him to sleep in my arms. Even my mother was unable to make him stop crying. She had to call my husband and I to come home from my brother’s house in the middle of the night. I took him in my arms and started to sing, and clunk, sound asleep. That was my boy.
So, yes, I miss him. I miss his dry humor. I miss his smile, and the teasing twinkle in his eye. I miss his agile mind and his eclectic interests. I miss his beautiful tenor voice. It was a thrill to hear him singing my songs and playing my games with his own boys. I miss the way he always carried a book with him . I miss his tender, loving heart, and the way he had to leave the room if a movie or television character was mean to a pet or a child. I miss the way animals and children automatically attached themselves to him as a kind and understanding man. I miss his hugs. And, more than anything else, I miss the way he always knew exactly what to say to make things better. He could change your mood or defuse your anger with just one sentence. A born peace maker and builder of bridges, that was Neal. It’s a harder reach to find peace now , without my Neal.
Happy birthday, my beautiful son! And Happy Neal Day to all of you. Read a book. See a movie. Hug a dog. Build a bridge. We were blessed to have Neal for the time that he was part of our lives. Find a little magic and enjoyment in your day – he would be pleased! Monkey!