July 16, 2011

Had to testify yesterday. That was hard. Not just because it’s hard to get up and talk about these things, but because it’s all much harder to deal with a second time than the first time. I expected it would be easier because I had done it, seen it and heard it all before. It wasn’t.

As the week progressed I found myself trembling as I sat in the courtroom. My hands were cold, but I think that was from anxiety. I even went to get increased dosages of medications and it didn’t help. By yesterday, watching everyone get up there and bare their injured souls, I was shaking uncomtrollably and it got so bad that two friends sitting behind me tried to hold me together, each with a hand on a shoulder. I felt like I was literally going to shake apart. There I would be in pieces on the floor of the courtroom and they’d have to sweep me up into a trash can. I’m sure the bailiff would have been annoyed at the mess and that I would be pteradactyled, oops I mean redacted, as being prejudicial. The jury would be instructed to ignore my performance and I would be put out in the hall. Who knows if they’d get all the bits together. It wasn’t good for Humpty Dumpty, was it?

Luckily, I held together and made it through the whole thing still with my bits (barely). We now have a 4-day weekend and don’t return to court until next Wednesday. There is a technological problem they have to work out. Apparently we will be Skyping with some witnesses who are overseas.


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