Had to testify yesterday. That was hard. Not just because it’s hard to get up and talk about these things, but because it’s all much harder to deal with a second time than the first time. I expected it would be easier because I had done it, seen it and heard it all before. It wasn’t.
As the week progressed I found myself trembling as I sat in the courtroom. My hands were cold, but I think that was from anxiety. I even went to get increased dosages of medications and it didn’t help. By yesterday, watching everyone get up there and bare their injured souls, I was shaking uncomtrollably and it got so bad that two friends sitting behind me tried to hold me together, each with a hand on a shoulder. I felt like I was literally going to shake apart. There I would be in pieces on the floor of the courtroom and they’d have to sweep me up into a trash can. I’m sure the bailiff would have been annoyed at the mess and that I would be pteradactyled, oops I mean redacted, as being prejudicial. The jury would be instructed to ignore my performance and I would be put out in the hall. Who knows if they’d get all the bits together. It wasn’t good for Humpty Dumpty, was it?
Luckily, I held together and made it through the whole thing still with my bits (barely). We now have a 4-day weekend and don’t return to court until next Wednesday. There is a technological problem they have to work out. Apparently we will be Skyping with some witnesses who are overseas.