Suspended Animation

This has been a strange week so far. I feel like I am floating in suspended animation or that I am enveloped in an impenetrable bank of fog. Do I feel relief at the verdict? To tell you the truth, I’m not sure what I feel except that I am tired. All I really want to do is sleep. I’ve been wound so tightly – bouncing between anxiety and depression – that I’m not entirely certain that I know up from down. Perhaps this is self protection. I have not yet fully assimilated all the evidence that was presented at the trial. When I think of it, I see and hear certain things over and over again in a horrible loop. I get stuck. I think I’d much rather sleep, at least for a while. We still have the penalty phase of the trial ahead, which I’m sure will be extremely emotional. That starts on Monday. I think that a week hiding from reality with a blanket over my head is in order. I’ll be strong later. Not now. I need a respite.

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